Navigation Bar
MAIN Cheap Thoughts Cheap Thoughts Index Cheap Thoughts on Science Really Cheap Thoughts Index

 

Really Cheap Thoughts

 

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

 

The classic answer:  To get to the other side.

 

Why did the egg cross the road?  Because it had the inclination.

 

Why did the farmer cross the road?  Because he was running after the chicken.

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?  It was the chicken's day off.

 

Why did the fried chicken cross the road?  It saw a fork up ahead.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the deer how it’s done.

 

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?  Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.

 

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?  To get to the other . . . er, um . . .

 

Why did the tachyon cross the road? Because it was on the other side.

 

Why did the water molecule cross the road? It was hydrogen-bonded to the chicken.

 

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have enough guts.

 

Why did the chicken stop crossing the road? She was tired of all the jokes.

 

Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.

 

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. (Steven Wright)

 

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?" (Steven Wright)

 

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference. (or: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.)

 

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

 

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

 

Pierre de Fermat: I have recently discovered an amazing proof of why chickens cross roads, but I don't have room here to give the full explanation.  (Fermat's Last Chicken Theorem)

 

Stephen Hawking: There exist numerous parallel universes in which the same chicken is in differing stages of crossing the road.  Only when one of the chickens has completed crossing the road do their wave functions coalesce.

 

Werner Heisenberg: I am not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.  (The Heisenberg Chicken Uncertainty Principle)

 

Henri Le Chtelier: Because there were too many moles of chickens on the reactant side of the road equilibrium.

 

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road. (The Pauli Chicken Exclusion Principle)

 

Carl Sagan: There are billions and billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across the universe.

 

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

 

Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 

Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. (Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.)

 

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

 

Dr. Suess:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

 

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

 

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

 

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?