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Philosophically Speaking


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
     The class was seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
     Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, finished in less than a minute.
     Weeks later when the grades were posted, the one who finished first got the only A.
     Her answer: "What chair?"


I got an 'A' in philosophy last semester by proving that my professor doesn't exist.


Minds are like parachutes. They work best when open. Just make sure the strings are still attached.



The Top 10 Philosophy Questions of All Time Answered! (sort of)
10. How do I know anything really exists? Kick it really hard.
9. What is the essence of being human? Not understanding the opposite sex.
8. If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
7. How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life? Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.
6. Can our minds exist separately from our bodies? If they could, we'd just send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.
5. Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
4. What is the nature of Knowledge? I'm still trying to figure out the nature of college.
3. What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
2. Why get a Philosophy degree? It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.
1. So, was Kant on drugs or what? Probably.