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A conservative is someone who admires radicals a century after they're dead.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
I don't approve of political jokes; I've seen too many of them get elected.
I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
If we quit voting will they all go away?
Keep things as they are — vote for the Sado-Masochistic Party.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Politicians are the only people you can ask a direct question to and, 35 minutes later, not have an answer and be more confused than you were before.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
Why do we call it politics? Because poly means many and ticks mean blood-sucking parasites.
Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
You can't fool all the people all of the time, but the average politician is contented with a sizable majority.