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Really Cheap Thoughts


Weather Jokes
(or not)


What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxicabs.


Weather in Texas

It's so hot in Texas that ...
... the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
... farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.


It's so dry in Texas that ...
… the trees are whistling for the dogs.
… the cows are giving evaporated milk.

You know you're in Texas when...
… you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
… you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
… you can make instant sun tea.
… you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
… the temperature drops below 95, and you feel a bit chilly.
… you discover that in July, it takes only two fingers to drive your car.
… you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
… you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
… hot water now comes out of both taps.
… it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
… you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
… you break a sweat the instant you step outside in the morning.
… your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
… you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.