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Science Jokes

 

The SI-lly System:
The Metric System, Unit Definitions, and Useful (?) Conversion Factors

 

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

 

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

 

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at one nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong

 

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year

 

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

 

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

 

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

 

Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

 

Time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement = bananosecond

 

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at one nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong

 

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

 

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

 

1 unit of suspense in a mystery novel = 1 whod unit

 

100 rations = 1 C-ration

 

10 monologs = 5 dialogs

 

2 monograms = 1 diagram

 

4 nickels = 2 paradigms

 

2 wharves = 1 paradox

 

2 snake eyes = 1 paradise

 

2 baby sitters = 1 gramma grampa

 

100 Senators = not one decision

 

1018 acts = 1 exact

 

1015 shops = 1 petashop

 

1012 bulls = 1 terabull

 

109 antics = 1 gigantic

 

109 "lo"s = 1021 picolos = 1 gigalo

 

106 aches = 1 megahurtz

 

106 phones = 1 megaphone

 

2 x 103 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

 

101 cards = 1 decacards (or 52 cards = 1 decacards)

 

3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent

 

5 dialogs = 1 decalog

 

10-1 mates = 1 decimate

 

10-1 mals = 1 decimal

 

10-1 bels = 1 decibel

 

10-2 mental journeys = 1 centimental journey

 

10 millipedes = 1 centipede

 

10-3 of an ion = 1 million

 

10-3 Helen of Troys = 1 milliHelen, the amount of beauty required to launch one ship

 

10-6 fish = 1 microfiche

 

10-6 phones = 1 microphone

 

10-6 bottles of mouthwash = 1 microscope

 

10-12 really big scares = 1 picoboo

 

10-18 boys = 1 attoboy