A candid conversation about House Rules, Curfews, and the worn out College Student.
November 29, 2017
House Rules and Curfews- When college students return home for holidays or summer, parents may find that the student will tend to resent the control parents may want to exercise. But on the other hand, the degree of independence the student enjoyed at college may not work for a family. So, how do families solve this dilemma? There are no easy, “one size fits all” answers since each family is unique. A few ideas that may help include:
Talk about it ahead of time and try to set some ground rules that are fair for both parties. If both parents and college students listen to each other’s concerns, they may be able to avoid major conflicts once the student arrives home for holidays/summer vacations. This discussion should include the topic of curfews.
Rights AND Responsibilities: Parents may need to adjust certain rules since the college student has had to assume a more adult role in the college setting, but the discussion between parent and student needs to include what responsibilities and household chores the student will need to assume when returning home.
Parents shouldn’t expect their student’s undivided attention. In addition to missing their family members, the student has also been missing their friends back home and will want to be spending time with them as well. The student also must consider his/her family members’ feelings and spend some time with family also.
The Worn Out College Student– Parents shouldn’t be surprised if their student wants to spend more time in bed or lying on the couch watching TV the first couple of days that they are home. The pressures and busy schedule of college can be tiring and they may take advantage of being away from college the first couple of days home by sleeping and resting more than usual. The student may also find their bed more conducive to sleep than the bed in their dorm, and there will be many less distractions. If the student complains too much about the lack of sleep at college, the parent may need to spend time helping them to see if they are over-committed with school, work and extra-curricular activities at school and figure out if there is something that can be cut out to allow more time for sleep and rest.