These suggestions may help you reduce the risk of experiencing a non-consensual sexual act.
- If you have limits, make them known as early as possible.
- Tell a sexual aggressor “NO” clearly and firmly.
- Try to remove yourself from the physical presence of a sexual aggressor.
- Find someone nearby and ask for help.
- Take care of your friends and ask that they take care of you. A real friend will challenge you if you are questioning a decision. Respect them when they do.
If you find yourself in the position of being the initiator of sexual behavior, you owe respect to yourself and your potential partner. These suggestions may help you to reduce your risk for being accused of sexual misconduct.
- Clearly communicate your intentions to your sexual partner and give them a chance to clearly relate their intentions to you.
- Understand and respect personal boundaries.
DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
- About consent
- About someone’s sexual availability
- About whether they are attracted to you
- About how far you can go or about whether they are physically and/or mentally able to consent
If there are any questions or ambiguity, then you DO NOT have consent.
- Mixed messages from your partner are a clear indication that you should stop, defuse any sexual tension and communicate better. You may be misreading each other. Your partner may not have figured out how far he or she wants to go with you yet. You must respect the timeline for sexual behaviors with which your partner is comfortable.
- Don’t take advantage of someone’s drunkenness or drugged state, even if they did it to themselves.
- Realize that your potential partner could be intimidated by you, or fearful. You may have a power advantage simply because of your gender or size. Don’t abuse that power.
- Understand that consent to some form of sexual behavior does not automatically imply consent to any other forms of sexual behavior.
- Silence and passivity cannot be interpreted as an indication of consent. Read your potential partner carefully, paying attention to verbal and nonverbal communication and body language.
The NCHERM Group/ATIXA. (2014). ATIXA gender-based and sexual misconduct model policy and model grievance process.